Happy Pride Month from LVMC!đ
Plus an inside look at a childfree cis-het marriage
Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. If you ever want my advice on having a childfree wedding, I have one simple word for you:
Elope!
This is one of the best decisions weâve ever made as a couple: having a quiet and simple ceremony that got all the legal paperwork out of the way, without any of the histrionics that weddings bring out in people.
Were people upset that we got married before our big âpublicâ ceremony? If they were, they arenât in our lives anymore. And weâre perfectly okay with that.
One of the great things about marriage is that it gets to be yours, and you get to decide how it looks and how youâre going to live your life together. Mine is unconventional, in that we wonât procreate, but we are and continue to be happy and fulfilled.
Which is the very least you should get out of legally and emotionally tying yourself to a person.
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Share Your Story
Recently Iâve received a few questions from friends who are also considering marriage, and wonder what itâs like to be a wifeâespecially in a childfree relationship. I could talk about it for ages, and likely will in a future episode.
But while my marriage is only one example, Iâd love to hear your take on this.
Last year, I started a series on childfree weddings. This year Iâm expanding to include the story of your marriage. A wedding is one day (or two, if youâre us!), a marriage is a lot longer. If youâre interested in sharing your story as a childfree couple, feel free to submit it here.
Become Your Own Lover
Yesterday, I was joking with Ryan about my Italian lover (heâs of Italian descent). He agreed that everyone should have one! When I raised an eyebrow about him having one, his response back was:
Babe, I love myself!
My husband is a funny guy, but heâs also 100% correct to love himself and express it. In fact, when I was writing Benchmarks are Bullshit for my niece in 2019, heâs the one that contributed the line love begins in the mirror for Lesson #5.
So as much as his quick comeback cracked me up in the moment, it also made me realize how vital self-love is in a relationship, too.
The older I get, the more important prioritizing myself and my own peace has become. I wonder if I had started doing this in my 30s, would I have had to face the career-ending burnout and subsequent auto-immune disorder I developed at 38?
I donât know! But I told that story on episode #64 The Loneliest Year, and in the next episode my guest and I are tackling burnout, too.
While I canât go backwards and undo that damage, I can move forward with the lessons I learned.
The benefits of self-love in a marriage: strength, confidence, security, and showing your partner how to value you are just a handful of them.
Sexual satisfaction shouldnât be overlooked either. Today, Lovehoney has BOGO 50% off on all essentials (like lube, the BFF of women everywhere) plus a lot more fun items.
You can only be the best partner when youâre doing your best for yourself, too.
Celebrate Pride Month!
Something Iâve never understood is the ridiculous stance against gay marriage. My own marriage is in no way negatively impacted by the ability for same-sex couples to also enjoy this legal unity.
We celebrate love in all its forms here on LVMC and on Self-Love Sundays especially.
LGBTQIA+ people exist and are equally as worthy of love and support. If that includes you, I sincerely hope that youâre able to wear your rainbow gear this month and all year long without provoking the snowflakes.
But if you have to keep it on the down low for any reason, here are 4 guests to watch and follow as they proudly wear theirs:
đ#40: Becoming a Shame-Free Childfree Latina with Rena Martine
đ#43: Living Your Most Authentic Life with Fede Vargas
đ#45: Take That Risk with Luis Octavio
đ#51: The Healing Power of Storytelling and Reframing Motherhood with Talia MolĂ© (re-release)