You Will Change Your Mind...A Lot
Lesson 3 from Benchmarks are Bullshit
As a grown adult you’re probably already aware that you’re allowed to change your mind. Very few decisions are permanent.
Cutting off a limb, sure. That’s not going to regrow (although prosthetics are pretty amazing).
Having children? Yup, 100% permanent.
Just about everything else? You can change your mind! Even tattoos aren’t permanent with the advent of laser surgery.
For people who are afraid to make decisions because they’re afraid of making the “wrong” one, this should be a liberating realization. But maybe we could all use a friendly reminder.
In the latest episode, my husband Ryan and I talked through the biggest decision we’ve made to date, and how we had to undo it as well. In short, we made a mistake.
But mistakes—or failing—aren’t the end of the game. They’re important data for uncovering what works for you. We only learn by doing. And in doing, we’re going to make a lot of mistakes.
Failure is a part of life.
We all make lots and lots of mistakes before we succeed. In other words, success is the sum total of a million little mistakes.
And guess what, even after we reach “success,” we’ll still make mistakes. That’s called being human.
For everyone who already has a copy of Benchmarks are Bullshit, you know that decisions are not life sentences.
Refusing to admit you made a mistake? That’s a character flaw. Stubborn inflexibility is the real failure.
That’s lesson 3 in the little e-book. Which I also promised listeners of the show that they’d receive on Substack. So here is a lightly edited version of that chapter from the book.
Lesson 3: You will change your mind...a lot
Civilization has moved past needing to marry young and propagate early (and often) to ensure we can survive the harvest. Instead you have options.
Choices!
You can want to be:
a pilot who travels the world non-stop
a trash collector who clocks out at 5 pm every day
a secretary by day and dominatrix by night
an accountant specializing in sustainability
And in 5 or 15 years realize that’s not your intended life path anymore. Don't be afraid to make decisions because they seem like they'll impact your life forever.
DECISIONS ARE NOT LIFE SENTENCES!
It’s always best to have a plan but to also be flexible. Have marketable skills so you can do a variety of things. Being marketable is the best contingency plan.
Questions to consider:
What makes you happy?
What will sustain your lifestyle?
Is the answer to both of those the same? If not, how can you match them up?
You may hate Brussels sprouts now but learn to like them when you’re 50. Stranger things can happen. Maybe you change careers. Maybe you move to a different country.
Setting down a life path is not a life sentence. Being inflexible is. You’re not the same person you were 5, 10, 15 years ago. Why would you expect that you would remain the same person you are today in 5-15 years from now?
Want your own copy of Benchmarks are Bullshit? Click here for 30% off.
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