A Latino Redefines Success & Breaks Free from Material Handcuffs
How living with intention, re-evaluating success metrics, and embracing the uncomfortable truth allowed Fede Vargas to shed his former constraints
While my mission on La Vida Más Chévere is to empower you to live your best life by unlearning the toxicity in our culture, Fede Vargas’s is an example of what life can be like after you’ve done that work.
In Part 1 of our conversation, Living Authentically, he described the journey from corporate rat race to living his most authentic life, and why it happened when it did.
In Part 2, Challenging Dual Identity in Latinidad, we dove deeper into that journey, including the duality he embodies and how he developed a daily routine with his Strong Rs. You can catch up with both here:
In this final installment, Fede shares how he’s living life more intentionally, free from the prison of materialism. He’s also very clear that this take practice, something he’s still doing to this day.
Plus you can play along with the question of the week poll!
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Would You Rather…?
Paulette: As you're shedding the old layers of yourself, there's gonna be people who like that person, who are comfortable with that person, even though that may no longer be you.
So sometimes [that] can even cause friction in relationships. Because what if everyone around you isn't ready for that? Or isn't ready to do that work themselves? And it's scary and weird to them and that's kind of reflecting. Like you are this big mirror to everyone around you who's not ready to see it.
Did you experience any of that kind of friction?
Fede: You said two things there that I totally connect with: the shedding part. Yeah, I felt like a metamorphosis. Like I was mutating into…same outer shell, but I was literally mutating into like a different person. So shedding, shedding.
And the comfort part is such a huge thing to talk about because I keep saying this quote, and I'll say it over and over. It's my takeaway from my transformational journey: would you rather live a comfortable lie or an uncomfortable truth?
And that when I wrapped my head around the power of that: the comfort of a corporate job, all the perks that came with it, the lifestyle that I thought was a really cool dream job to have, versus living your truth. And then the choice is really clear.
Question of the Week
Fede makes a really good point here. So let's make it the question of the week, which you can answer in the poll below
The question is: would you rather live a comfortable lie or live an uncomfortable truth?
The answer isn't as black and white as you might first think it is. The options are a comfortable lie or an uncomfortable truth. Which one would you choose?
New Metrics of Success
Paulette: When you can change the metrics by which you measure your own success—and I know what you're talking about, when you get access to people, you get access to power, the movers and the shakers of our culture, that's a little addicting too. Plus it comes with a nice paycheck and some nice material things.
And when you no longer measure your success against those factors, life looks a lot different. But we're not taught in school, like you were talking about earlier, to appreciate those kinds of successes.
Because why? Because that doesn't make you a good little worker bee in our society. It makes you question norms, which people are not very comfortable with you doing. The powers that be don't like it when we question the way power structures are. Why does patriarchy exist like this? Why does white supremacy rule every single portion of our lives?
They don't like those questions. They want you to just fall in line. Work for 60, 70 years and then drop dead. And in the meantime, amass as many spoils as you can so you can show your neighbors, the Joneses, how successful you are! And all for what?
Life is richer than that, when you step out of that constriction.
Fede: Yes, yes. Everything that you just said, I've been through and I've experienced so many things you said that connect with. I mean, the material handcuffs, right? The lifestyle inflation, right?
Because with it comes, “now I have this house, I have to keep up that. And then I have a membership to this and I have to keep up that. And what will people think if I give up that or if I don't drive this kind of car?” It just comes in waves.
But I think that was the beauty of the transformational journey that I had for the past few years: that by disappearing, I was able to reset and see. And I downsized so many things, the size of my apartment, the clothing. Do I really need seven blazers? Do I really need, all those pairs of shoes that look almost exactly the same? I was able to be more minimalist.
Paulette: More intentional.
Fede: More intentional. Yeah. Great word.
Paulette: And I know a lot of people talk about this and it's really easy to dismiss it as just bullshit, but you're living it.
You're actively living more minimalist lifestyle that isn't measuring success against how big your paycheck is or who you get access to, or what party you're going to tonight. I'm sure you still go to parties. So you're the proof in the pudding that this can happen and you're happy.
Fede: Yes, I'm happy. And hey, life is a long journey. So it's not like I've gotten through the challenges yet.
For example, I'm relocating back to Canada just because it's time for me to reconnect. The beauty about my new life is that it's flexible. I know what relocating, moving somewhere no longer means moving forever.
But it's time to go. [I] miss my mom, [and want to] connect with my friends. I have such deep roots over there.
So maybe the financial plan there is different. Do I need to maybe get some sort of work? Maybe yes, but it won't be anything like I used to have. Because now I'm coming at it with two years of a transformational experience and with a fresh perspective.
Paulette: And all of that to say that finances are important. Keeping a roof over your head is important. We're not trying to dismiss the fact that making money is important. It's how important? Do you live to work, or work to live?
Fede: Exactly, yeah. Thank you for listening. And that's a burrito!
Find Fede on Instagram as @mymostauthenticlife. And enjoy his podcast My Most Authentic Life on all platforms.
Listen to Living Your Most Authentic Life with Fede Vargas on Apple
Listen to Living Your Most Authentic Life with Fede Vargas on Spotify
Or watch Living Your Most Authentic Life with Fede Vargas and comment on YouTube
To get the full show notes, and a full episode transcript, go to PauletteErato.com.